Dame Deborah James admits she is ‘scared to sleep’ as she give heartbreaking update

Dame Deborah James has given an update on her condition as she continues to receive end of life hospice care.

Deborah – known online as Bowel Babe – was diagnosed with stage four bowel cancer in 2016, and has kept her followers up to date with her progress through social media and various charitable efforts for cancer research.

And since being moved into end of life hospice care two weeks ago, Deborah has raised over £6.5 million for her Bowel Babe Fund, been awarded a damehood for her ‘tireless campaigning’, released a range of charity t-shirts and had a rose go on sale in her honour, with proceeds going to her charity.

But this week Deborah gave an update on her process where, despite her accomplishments in the last few weeks, she admitted she is now ‘scared to sleep’.

In an interview with The Sun yesterday, the podcast host explained that while she is not in any pain, she is ‘exhausted’ from the constant fear of death.

She explained: “I don’t feel like I’m on my deathbed. I’m not planning on dying anytime soon but it’s just so unpredictable.

“I’m scared to fall asleep and that’s one of the biggest reasons I’m so tired. I am scared to go to sleep.”

Deborah also added that she is experiencing ‘discomfort’ as a result of some ‘nasty’ stomach problems over the weekend. 

She said: “It’s ironic, I’ve spent the last five years talking about poo, and breaking the poo taboo. It’s typical I suffer with a s**t stomach now.”

She also touched upon the impact her declining health is having on her two children, Hugo, fourteen, and Eloise, twelve, saying she is doing her best to ‘shield’ them from seeing her bad days.

She said: “I feel very strongly that I don’t want my kids to see me agitated and distressed. I want to make sure they see me when I’m having a good day.

“I want them to have nice memories. I don’t want them to take on the burden of having to care for me, massage my legs because I can’t walk. That would break my heart.”

Deborah admitted that her family have been ‘amazing’ since her cancer treatment ended, adding: “What I have seen from them in the last two weeks is true love, deep love. It’s overwhelming.

“They have all been amazing.

“I know the pressure on them at the moment is huge, I can’t do anything anymore without their help.”

Deborah began her end of life hospice care at her parents’ home in Woking two weeks ago, with her announcing the tragic news to her 800k strong following on Instagram.

In a message she ‘never wanted to write’, Deborah explained: “We have tried everything, but my body simply isn’t playing ball.

“My active care has stopped and I am now moved to hospice at home care, with my incredible family all around me and the focus is on making sure I’m not in pain and spending time with them.”

You can read more about Deborah’s Bowel Babe Foundation and donate yourself here.